Rs 11 lakh loan in son’s name, then Rs 1.1 lakh monthly demand: 'Financially abusive' parents leave IITian with no savings

Financial abuse within families is often overlooked, especially when it involves parents exploiting their adult children under the guise of care or obligation. For many young earners, the emotional weight of family expectations can quietly erode their independence. One such case has emerged online, where a young software professional has shared how years of financial control by his parents left him unable to save, invest, or build a life of his own—despite a successful academic and early career journey.

Promising Start Marred by Family Struggles

According to his detailed post on Reddit, the techie grew up in an emotionally abusive home, especially under the influence of his father. He said academic success protected him from some of the worst treatment. After clearing the Joint Entrance Examination (JEE), he earned admission to one of the country’s top engineering institutes, the Indian Institute of Technology (IIT). But instead of funding his education, his father reportedly forced him to take out a loan of Rs 11 lakh in his own name—even though the family had the financial capacity.

During his final year of college, the student landed a 10-month internship with a stipend of Rs 80,000 per month. However, his father allegedly demanded the full amount each month, saying it was being saved for future investments, such as buying a home. This prevented the young man from repaying his education loan early, despite having the means to do so.

High Salary, No Savings

After graduation, he secured a full-time job with a monthly salary of Rs 1.5 lakh. But the financial pressure didn’t end—his parents began asking for Rs 1.1 lakh every month. Over the next year, he said he handed over nearly all of his income, leaving little to no room for personal financial planning or saving. The situation escalated when his job became remote, and he returned to live at home briefly. A confrontation eventually forced him to leave again.

Two months later, his parents informed him they were buying a flat. Although financial discussions were avoided for a while, they soon resumed with renewed pressure. He stated that he had already contributed over Rs 20 lakh toward the new flat’s down payment. When he delayed further financial assistance, his parents allegedly resorted to emotional manipulation—bringing up how they had raised him and sacrificed for his education, which he claimed cost them under Rs 2 lakh from grades 9 to 12. His father, a government employee, reportedly earns around Rs 1 lakh per month.

Final Breaking Point

The turning point came when he visited them after 14 months. During a casual conversation, his father asked how much money he had in his account and requested another Rs 2 lakh to buy new furniture. He also suggested that the son should let his parents manage his finances. This demand, the techie said, finally pushed him to sever ties and stop sending any more money. t5

Now in his mid-20s, the young man has decided to step away from all financial obligations to his parents, emphasizing that they are fully capable of supporting themselves.

The post drew strong reactions from users across Reddit, many of whom shared their own experiences with controlling or financially manipulative parents. One commenter recalled being told early on in their career to keep income details private—advice they credited with helping them avoid unnecessary financial pressure. Another user said that hiding their pay hike from their parents allowed them to quietly build savings, as their family believed every rupee should be spent.

Some even described their own journeys, emphasizing that being firm and maintaining boundaries helped them regain peace of mind. A few cautioned against blindly trusting even close family with money, highlighting how shared income often leads to control, comparison, and loss of autonomy.