Relationship lesson of the day: 'The chains of marriage are so heavy that it takes two to carry them, and sometimes three...'

Marriage is often spoken about as a bond built on love, trust, and partnership, but it also comes with pressure, responsibility, and emotional weight that both people have to manage together. Over time, writers have tried to describe this balance in many ways, and one of the most widely quoted lines that captures this complexity comes from French writer Alexandre Dumas fils.

“The chains of marriage are so heavy that it takes two to carry them — and sometimes three”

This line is commonly attributed to Alexandre Dumas fils, a 19th-century French playwright and novelist, and it originally appears in French as “Les chaînes du mariage sont si lourdes qu'il faut être deux pour les porter; quelquefois trois.” It has remained popular in literary and modern discussions because of how sharply it describes the weight and complications of married life.

Meaning behind the quote

The quote compares marriage to chains, not to dismiss it entirely, but to highlight how heavy shared responsibility can feel when two people commit to a life together. It suggests that marriage is not something one person can carry alone; it requires equal effort, patience, and emotional balance from both partners to keep things stable.

The second part, “and sometimes three,” adds a more complicated layer to the idea. It points toward situations where a third presence disrupts the relationship, often interpreted as infidelity or outside interference. The line uses this imagery to show how relationships can become more difficult when trust is affected or when external influences enter a marriage.

About Alexandre Dumas fils

Alexandre Dumas fils was a French writer and playwright from the 19th century, and the son of the well-known novelist Alexandre Dumas, who wrote classics like The Three Musketeers and The Count of Monte Cristo. While his father focused on adventure and historical fiction, Dumas fils became known for writing about social issues, especially love, marriage, and moral questions in society.

He gained recognition in French literary circles during the mid-to-late 1800s. His works often dealt with emotional conflicts, relationships, and the consequences of personal choices. One of his most famous works, La Dame aux Camélias, became widely influential and was later adapted into operas and stage productions across Europe.


Unlike romanticised storytelling, Dumas fils preferred a more realistic approach. His writing often showed relationships as complex and sometimes difficult, which is why this quote fits naturally within his style and worldview.

Even though the quote comes from the 19th century, it continues to appear in modern discussions because it still connects with how people experience relationships. Many readers relate to the idea that marriage is not only about emotional bonding but also about handling pressure, responsibilities, and changing expectations over time.

It is also widely shared because it can be interpreted in different ways. Some people see it as a direct reference to relationship complications involving a third person, while others interpret it more generally as anything that disrupts balance in a marriage, such as stress, misunderstandings, or external interference.