Quote of the day by Oscar Wilde: 'Each man kills the thing he loves... The coward does it with a kiss, the brave with a sword' - A disturbing truth about why people hurt those closest to them by the Irish author and poet

Love is associated with affection, trust, and the desire to protect someone. But what happens when the people who are supposed to love us are the ones who hurt us? "This contradiction was explored by Oscar Wilde in one of the most memorable passages of English poetry: 'Yet each man kills the thing he loves... The coward does it with a kiss, the brave man with a sword!'"

The quote of the day is from The Ballad of Reading Gaol, a poem Wilde wrote after spending two years in prison. It is often read as a commentary on relationships and betrayal, but the poem’s origin was in a real-life murder and execution Wilde witnessed while in prison.

The Story Behind Oscar Wilde’s Famous Quote

Wilde wrote The Ballad of Reading Gaol in 1897 following his release from Reading Gaol in England. In 1895 he was convicted of gross indecency in relation to his homosexual relationships and sentenced to two years’ hard labor.


During his imprisonment, Wilde witnessed the execution of Charles Thomas Wooldridge, a former trooper in the Royal Horse Guards. Wooldridge had been convicted of murdering his wife, Laura Ellen, in 1896 and was hanged at Reading Gaol on July 7 that year.

The incident became the main subject of Wilde's poem. Dedicated to Wooldridge, the work depicts the last days of the condemned man, but also the experiences of other prisoners.What starts as a tale of an execution turns into a reflection on human suffering and on the way we treat those behind prison walls.

What does the quote mean?

Wilde says people destroy what they love. Some do it with a bitter look, some do it with a flattering word. He then goes on to contrast the coward, who does it with a kiss, with the man, who does it with a sword.

In the quote of the day, a sword is a symbol of obvious violence, while a kiss is a symbol of something more complicated; that is affection can exist with betrayal. The words also suggest that emotional harm does not always come through obvious acts of cruelty. Sometimes, it is hidden behind gestures of love, familiar words or seemingly harmless behaviour.

Why Wilde published the poem under a prison number

Wilde had completed the poem while he was living in exile, beginning it in Berneval-le-Grand, France, and then later finishing it in Naples, Italy. It was finally published on February 9, 1898, by London publisher Leonard Smithers.

Rather than using his name, Wilde published it anonymously as C. 3.3., the identification number that was assigned to him in prison. The designation referred to Cell 3, Landing 3, Gallery 3.

The poem became his last major published work and marked a different phase of his literary career. Wilde, who was celebrated for works such as The Picture of Dorian Gray and The Importance of Being Earnest, turned his attention to imprisonment, punishment and the suffering of people living on the margins of society.