Quote of the day by Oscar Wilde: 'Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is...' - A provocative take on love, friendships and relationships between genders by the iconic Irish writer

Oscar Wilde was someone who had a gift for turning complicated ideas about love, society and human relationships into memorable lines that left one thinking deeply. One of his observations appears in his 1892 play named Lady Windermere’s Fan where the quote says, “Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.”

Even after more than a century has passed since the quote was written but it still to stand out for the certainty with which Wilde described relationships between men and women. Rather than presenting friendship as a simple possibility, he lists a series of emotions and relationships, from passion and love to enmity and worship, before ruling out friendship altogether.

The Oscar Wilde quote on men and women

“Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.”


The quote as said earlier comes from Lady Windermere’s Fan, which is one of Wilde’s early successful plays and was first performed at the St James’s Theatre in London in February 1892.

This quote shows the wit and social observation of Wilde that became closely associated with his writing style also. His plays often looked at relationships, manners and the behaviour of Victorian society through sharp dialogue and humour.

The statement from the Irish playwright seems to be deliberately absolute. Wilde does not leave room for a middle ground between the different emotions he names. By placing “friendship” against “passion”, “enmity”, “worship” and “love”, he turns a familiar question about relationships into one of his characteristic provocative observations.

Oscar Wilde’s rise as a writer

Oscar Wilde was born in Dublin on October 16, 1854, and he grew up in a literary and intellectually accomplished family as his father, William Wilde, was a surgeon and writer, while his mother, Jane Francesca Wilde, was a poet who writing name was Speranza.

Wilde studied at Trinity College, Dublin, before moving to Magdalen College, Oxford. During his time at Oxford, he became closely associated with the aesthetic movement, which placed particular importance on beauty and art.

After university, he moved to London and built a literary career that eventually extended across poetry, fiction, essays and drama. His first poetry collection was published in 1881. He later wrote The Happy Prince and Other Tales and The Picture of Dorian Gray, his only novel.

But it was his plays that made Wilde one of the most celebrated writers of his period.

Lady Windermere’s Fan marked a turning point

Lady Windermere’s Fan was followed by plays including A Woman of No Importance, An Ideal Husband and The Importance of Being Earnest. Through these works, Wilde became known for combining comedy and social criticism.

George Bernard Shaw later wrote of Wilde, “In a certain sense Mr. Wilde is to me our only thorough playwright. He plays with everything: with wit, with philosophy, with drama, with actors and audience, with the whole theatre.”

That description captures an important part of Wilde’s appeal: his ability to make a seemingly simple exchange carry an argument about society, relationships or human behaviour.

Brilliant career followed by personal tragedy

Wilde's literary success did not protect him from the social and legal pressures of his time. His relationship with Lord Alfred Douglas became the centre of a series of legal proceedings in the 1890s.

In 1895, Wilde was found guilty of “gross indecency” and sentenced to two years in prison where he spent most of that period at Reading Gaol. His experiences there later led him to write The Ballad of Reading Gaol which was published in 1898 under the pseudonym C. 3. 3., based on his former cell number.

After his release, Wilde lived largely in France. His health and finances deteriorated, and he died in Paris on November 30, 1900, from acute meningitis.