Quote of the day by Michelle Obama: ‘Our first job in life as women, I think, is to get to know ourselves’, ex-First Lady's message to women on why self-discovery matters

Michelle Obama has long been known for her thoughtful, candid approach to conversations about identity, confidence and personal growth. During a conversation with Oprah Winfrey, the former First Lady opened up about an issue she believed sits at the heart of many struggles women face: knowing their own worth. She spoke about the pressure to please others and the expectations society places on women, while stressing the importance of understanding who you are before allowing outside voices to define you. Her message centred on self-worth, self-knowledge and learning to stand firmly in your own identity.

Michelle Obama’s message about knowing yourself

During a conversation at the United State of Women Summit, Oprah Winfrey raised the subject of self-value and self-worth while speaking with Michelle Obama. Winfrey explained that after interviewing thousands of people, most of them women, she had found that “the root of every dysfunction” and many problems often involved a sense of lacking self-value or self-worth. She also pointed to the constant stream of images and messages that encourage people to seek approval and be liked. Winfrey asked Michelle Obama how she had dealt with the pressure of other people's expectations, particularly as the wife of a political candidate, and what she could share that might help others “stand more inside ourselves and own that space”.

Quote of the day by Michelle Obama:

Quote of the day for today by Michelle Obama: "One of the things that I always — I tell my mentees, I tell my daughters is that our first job in life as women, I think, is to get to know ourselves".

‘We spend our time pleasing’

Michelle Obama responded by putting self-knowledge at the centre of her advice. The former First Lady of the USA explained that many women spend too much time looking outward for clues about who they are. She said people can become focused on “pleasing, satisfying, looking out into the world to define who we are”, rather than taking the time to understand themselves. She also spoke about the influence of external messages and limited definitions of identity.

For women of colour in particular, Obama said there can be “a limited box” into which they are placed. Living according to that restricted definition, she argued, can mean missing out on important parts of who they really are. Her point was that self-awareness can provide a stronger foundation when facing criticism or negative expectations from others. “It takes taking the time to know who you are” to deal with the “onslaught of negative messages” that people can encounter, Obama said.

How Michelle Obama developed her sense of self

The former First Lady also reflected on her own experience and why she felt prepared to deal with criticism from the outside world. “For me, I came into this with a pretty clear sense of myself,” she said, while acknowledging that some of that confidence came with age and experience. Obama also attributed part of her grounding to her upbringing. She said she was fortunate to have been raised by “a loving mother, strong, focused” and a father who loved her deeply. That foundation, she suggested, helped her enter public life with a strong understanding of her own identity. “So I fortunately came into this situation with a really clear sense of who I was,” she said.

Michelle Obama on dealing with outside criticism

The former First Lady explained that having a clear sense of identity can change how a person responds to criticism. She said that when she hears the smack-talking from outside the world, she is able to "brush that off", and the reason, according to her, is quite simple- "because I know who I am."

About Michelle Obama

First Lady Michelle LaVaughn Robinson Obama is a lawyer, writer and the wife of Barack Obama. According to information on the Obama White House website, Michelle Robinson studied sociology and African-American studies at Princeton University. She graduated from Harvard Law School in 1988 and subsequently joined the Chicago law firm Sidley & Austin. It was at Sidley & Austin that she later met Barack Obama, who would go on to become the 44th President of the United States.