Quote of the day by Mary Oliver: 'Someone I loved once gave me a box of full darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift' - How painful life experiences can become the greatest teachers explained by Pulitzer-winning poet

Some experiences in life take years to understand. A painful relationship, the loss of someone close or an emotional wound can initially feel like something that only takes away from us. But Mary Oliver, one of America's best-known poets, explored a different way of looking at such experiences in a short but powerful poem about love, darkness and the unexpected lessons that emerge from pain.

Her quote, “Someone I loved once gave me a box of full darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift,” gives a perspective on how grief and emotional suffering can change the way people understand themselves and their relationships.

Meaning of Mary Oliver's quote: Why does she call darkness a gift?

The quote come from Oliver's poem featured in Thirst, her 2007 poetry collection.


The words show us the complicated nature of love and loss. The 'box of full darkness' can be understood as a metaphor for the emotional pain that someone experiences after being hurt by a person they once loved.

At first, such an experience may appear to have no value. It can leave someone struggling with sadness, disappointment and unanswered questions. However, Oliver's words suggest that the meaning of difficult experiences is not always clear when they happen.

The second sentence is particularly important. By saying that it took her years to understand the gift, Oliver points towards the slow process of making sense of pain. What initially feels like a loss can eventually become an opportunity for deeper understanding, emotional growth and a different relationship with love.

Mary Oliver's Thirst and the grief behind the collection

The poem is from the collection Thirst, which Oliver wrote after experiencing a personal loss. Her longtime partner, photographer Molly Malone Cook, died in 2005 after more than four decades together.

The poetry collection explores grief, love and spiritual reflection. Rather than presenting sorrow as something that simply ends a relationship or a chapter of life, Oliver examines how it can become part of a person's understanding of love.

Who was Mary Oliver?

Born on September 10, 1935, in Maple Heights, Ohio, Oliver became known for poetry inspired by nature, human emotions and the relationship between people and the world around them.

She published her first poetry collection, No Voyage, and Other Poems, in 1965. Her 1983 collection American Primitive won the Pulitzer Prize, while New and Selected Poems received the National Book Award in 1992.

Much of her writing work was inspired by the natural landscapes of Provincetown, Massachusetts, where she lived with Cook for over 40 years. Her poetry was known for its easy language and close observations of the natural world. Oliver died on January 17, 2019, aged 83.