Quote of the day by John Steinbeck: ‘It is awful not to be loved. It is the worst thing in the world. It makes you mean, violent, and cruel’ - East of Eden novelist on how absence of affection brings out the worst in people

Our interpersonal relationships play a pivotal role in shaping our personalities. As a child, we need lots of love, affection, care and support to become an emotionally intelligent adult who can navigate every situation maturely. But when a child grows up in a dysfunctional home, they reel from emotional neglect or feelings of being unwanted that leave deep psychological scars for years to come. This, in turn, can make them bitter adults, bringing out their worst traits. Today’s quote of the day by acclaimed novelist and Nobel laureate John Steinbeck echoes a similar sentiment.

John Steinbeck quote: ‘It is awful not to be loved. It is the worst thing in the world. It makes you mean, violent, and cruel.’

John Steinbeck quote: Context

The John Steinbeck quote is mentioned in his famous 1952 novel East of Eden. The words are spoken by a young Cal Trask to their wise family housekeeper, Lee, after he learns the truth about his mother. Cathy abandoned Cal and his brother Aron and ran off to earn her own money, working and later operating a brothel.


When Cal recognises that he has a certain darkness in him, he presumes that it comes from his mother and his absent father, who favours Aron over him. Cal admits how feeling unwanted bred bitterness and destructive impulses in him.

Decoding John Steinbeck’s quote

At its heart, the John Steinbeck quote puts the spotlight on how emotional neglect can make a child grow up into an angry, resentful, and hostile adult. When, as a kid, you realise that you have to earn your affection and fight for love, the desperation and frustration, combined with the absence of warmth and reassurance, often turn you into a ‘monster’.

These unresolved emotional wounds can follow children into adulthood, making it difficult for them to trust people and be unaware of what affection actually looks like. They often struggle to maintain healthy relationships, may become detached and unable to express emotions, leading to aggression or cruelty.

East of Eden Netflix series

John Steinbeck’s cult novel was recently adapted into a Netflix series. The drama mini-series starred Florence Pugh as Cathy, Christopher Abbott as Adam Trask, Mike Faist as Charles Trask, Joseph Zada as Cal Trask, Joe Anders as Aron Trask and Hoon Lee as Lee.