Quote of the day by ex-US President, Abraham Lincoln: ‘Marriage is neither heaven nor hell; it is simply purgatory’

When it comes to love and relationships, even the great minds of history had their share of wry observations. Abraham Lincoln, the 16th president of the United States, once summed up the institution of marriage in a way that is both stark and striking: “Marriage is neither heaven nor hell; it is simply purgatory.” This quote cuts through the rose-colored view many have of marriage, presenting it instead as a complex, often challenging journey.

Meaning of Lincoln's quote

Lincoln’s words capture the nuanced reality of marriage: it is not a perpetual blissful paradise, nor is it a fiery torment, but a state of constant negotiation, compromise, and endurance. By describing marriage as purgatory, Lincoln reflects on the middle ground of human relationships—where love, responsibility, and personal growth coexist with challenges and moments of friction. It is a recognition that even profound affection requires effort, patience, and resilience.

This quote resonates as a timeless reminder: even those who shape nations confront the complexities of love and partnership. Marriage, in Lincoln’s eyes, demands patience, compromise, and endurance, qualities as essential in personal life as they were in his political leadership.

About Abraham Lincoln

Abraham Lincoln, born in a cabin in Kentucky in 1809, rose from frontier life to become a self-educated lawyer, Illinois legislator, and eventually the 16th president of the United States, leading the nation through its darkest hours. His leadership during the Civil War, his role in abolishing slavery through the Thirteenth Amendment, and his enduring legacy of unity are well-documented. Beyond politics, Lincoln’s reflections on personal life reveal a human side often overshadowed by his historical achievements.

Lincoln’s romantic life was marked by both sorrow and eventual fulfilment. Historians like Michael Burlingame point to Ann Rutledge, a young woman from Kentucky, as his first deep romantic interest, though evidence of an actual romance is disputed by scholars like Lewis Gannett. David Herbert Donald notes that how their friendship evolved into love remains unclear. Reportedly, Rutledge’s untimely death from typhoid fever in 1835 devastated Lincoln, plunging him into a severe depression.




Later, Lincoln met Mary Owens from Kentucky in the early 1830s. A proposed match faltered when both reconsidered their feelings, and in August 1837, Lincoln wrote Owens a letter freeing her from the engagement. She declined to marry him, leaving him to continue his personal journey.

In 1839, Lincoln met Mary Todd in Springfield, Illinois. Their engagement followed in 1840, although Lincoln briefly broke it off in 1841. The couple reconciled and married on November 4, 1842. By 1844, they had purchased a home in Springfield near Lincoln’s law office, beginning a life together.