Quote of the day by Benedict Cumberbatch: ‘Story of male grief is what men feel or don’t allow themselves to feel, and the damage done’, Actor’s powerful lesson on teaching boys to feel

Benedict Cumberbatch is one of the stellar actors whose charismatic personality, and varied range of acting skills has made him a fan favourite. The actor who is famed for his role as Dr Strange in the Marvel Cinematic Universer, is also an adorable father of three sons, whom he has praised on multiple occasions. In one particular interview he once mentioned about a lesson he believes parents should teach boys early: vulnerability is not weakness.

During an interview with novelist Max Porter for Port magazine, the actor reflected on raising sons and the emotional expectations placed on men. Cumberbatch, who has three sons, said their shared experience of fatherhood connected to the themes of male grief explored in Porter’s work. He spoke about the importance of allowing boys to express emotions, arguing that being vulnerable can itself be a form of strength.

Benedict Cumberbatch on the emotions boys are taught to hide

While discussing his bond with his sons with novelist Max Porter, author of Grief Is the Thing with Feathers, Cumberbatch spoke about one of his fears surrounding parenthood. “It’s been amongst many fears of raising children, the fact we both have three boys,” the actor said. He then connected fatherhood with the broader question of how men process grief and emotions. “This is a story of male grief – what men feel or don’t allow themselves to feel, and the damage done,” Cumberbatch said.


The Sherlock actor suggested that this is not simply an individual struggle, but something shaped by the culture boys grow up in. “We are living through a culture of that,” he said. For Cumberbatch, one important part of raising boys is helping them understand that expressing emotions does not diminish their strength. “One of the most important things to teach boys is that it’s fine to feel,” he said. “You are strong in vulnerability.”

Benedict Cumberbatch experience of raising sons

Benedict is married to English theatre and opera director Sophie Hunter. The couple have three sons, Christopher Carlton Cumberbatch, Hal Auden Cumberbatch and Finn Cumberbatch. The actor has previously spoken about the experience of becoming a father and expanding his family. During a November 2016 appearance on Live With Kelly, Cumberbatch discussed the impending birth of his second child. Speaking about becoming a parent again, he quoted the famous saying of how it taken an entire village to raise one kid. Giving it a twist, he added, "it probably takes a city for two.”

Benedict Cumberbatch about parenthood

When Cumberbatch received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in February 2022, he again spoke warmly about his family. Praising his wife’s support, he shared that together they have created an amazing family of three extraordinary little human beings. He further called his sons "amazing" and mentioned how they taught him a lot of what he knows now.

Benedict Cumberbatch’s career

Cumberbatch has built an acclaimed career across theatre, television and film, earning a British Academy Television Award, a Primetime Emmy Award and a Laurence Olivier Award, along with nominations for two Academy Awards, two British Academy Film Awards and four Golden Globes. He began with Shakespearean theatre before making his West End debut in Richard Eyre’s revival of Hedda Gabler. His stage credits later included Royal National Theatre productions of After the Dance and Frankenstein, with the latter earning him the Laurence Olivier Award for Best Actor. He also took on the title role in Hamlet at London’s Barbican Theatre.

On television, Cumberbatch shot to international fame as Sherlock Holmes in Sherlock, a performance that earned him a Primetime Emmy Award. On the big screen, he earned Oscar nominations for playing Alan Turing in The Imitation Game and a volatile rancher in The Power of the Dog. His filmography also includes period dramas such as Amazing Grace, Atonement, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, 12 Years a Slave, The Current War, 1917 and The Courier. For blockbuster audiences, he has played Smaug and Sauron in The Hobbit films, Khan in Star Trek Into Darkness and Dr Stephen Strange in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, including Doctor Strange and Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness.