Quote of the day by Albert Ellis: 'Self-esteem is the highest sickness known to man or woman because it's conditional', what the famous American psychotherapist teaches about the hidden danger of self-esteem

In a world that constantly encourages people to build confidence, seek validation and boost self-esteem, one renowned psychologist challenged that very idea. Albert Ellis, the founder of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, believed that self-esteem, when tied to success or approval, can become emotionally harmful rather than empowering. His thought-provoking quote continues to spark debate decades later, offering a different perspective on happiness, confidence and emotional resilience that remains relevant today.

Quote of the day

Albert Ellis once said, "Self-esteem is the highest sickness known to man or woman because it's conditional." At first glance, the statement may sound surprising. After all, self-esteem is often viewed as something everyone should strive for. But Ellis argued that the problem lies in its conditional nature.

What does the quote mean?

According to Ellis, self-esteem often depends on external factors such as achievements, appearance, intelligence, career success or the opinions of others. People tend to feel good about themselves when they succeed or receive praise, but the moment they fail or face criticism, they begin questioning their worth. In other words, self-esteem becomes a constantly shifting measure of personal value. It rises after accomplishments and falls after setbacks, making emotional stability dependent on circumstances that people cannot always control.



Ellis believed this creates unnecessary psychological suffering because individuals keep judging themselves instead of simply accepting themselves.

Why Albert Ellis believed self-esteem could be harmful

In his book, The Myth of Self-Esteem: How Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy Can Change Your Life Forever, Albert Ellis described self-esteem as one of the greatest emotional disturbances experienced by human beings.


According to Ellis, people praise themselves when others approve of what they do, but they also condemn themselves when they fall short of expectations or face disapproval. This constant cycle of self-evaluation creates anxiety, insecurity and emotional distress. Rather than chasing higher self-esteem, Ellis argued that people should develop self-acceptance. Unlike self-esteem, self-acceptance does not depend on success, failure or comparison. It means accepting yourself as a worthwhile human being regardless of your achievements, mistakes or imperfections.

The book also includes practical exercises designed to help readers replace self-defeating habits with healthier patterns rooted in unconditional self-acceptance.

The role of comparison in self-esteem

The Albert Ellis Institute further explains that comparing yourself with others often fuels conditional self-esteem. Many people build their sense of worth around qualities such as intelligence, humour, appearance, popularity or professional success. When they believe they outperform others in those areas, their self-esteem temporarily rises. However, when they feel someone else is better, that same self-esteem quickly falls, often leading to disappointment, shame or unhealthy emotional reactions.

Ellis believed that because comparison never truly ends, relying on it for self-worth creates an emotional cycle that is difficult to escape.

About Albert Ellis

Albert Ellis was a renowned American psychologist and psychotherapist best known for developing Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, widely known as REBT. He earned both his master's degree and PhD in clinical psychology from Columbia University.

Ellis introduced REBT in 1962 through his first major book and became one of the pioneers of the cognitive revolution in psychotherapy. His approach views emotional disturbances as being shaped primarily by people's beliefs and interpretations rather than by past events alone.

Today, REBT is recognised as one of the earliest forms of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT. Its goal is to help people identify irrational beliefs, overcome emotional and behavioural difficulties, and ultimately lead happier, healthier and more fulfilling lives. Through his work, Ellis encouraged people to stop measuring their worth through performance and instead embrace unconditional self-acceptance as the foundation of lasting emotional well-being.