Queen Elizabeth has a cleaning problem in that part of the still UK

A Swachh Scotland campaign might be in order. After all, even the famously frugal billionaire Queen Elizabeth II has been driven to advertising for special staff for the family residence in Scotland, Holyroodhouse, only to gouge out chewing gum left by tourists who clearly have no idea what lese majeste means. Her former colony Singapore penalises the act of chewing gum itself, thereby decreasing the chances of sticky wodges being affixed to public or private property, but Britain would never consider emulating that. However, as Prime Minister David Cameron has shown unabashed interest in India and was the first to congratulate his nowcounterpart Narendra Modi on his electoral victory, he may consider taking the Swacch leaf from the Indian PM's book.

Indeed, the Queen would appreciate the canniness in the Indian PM's move to crowdsource clean-ups instead of wasting money by entrusting the task to endemically graft-ridden local bodies. However , thanks to living in a welfare state and just voting to stay in the United Kingdom, her subjects there probably would not take too kindly to unpaid work. So it just as well that the Queen is offering a little under £2000 a month for the task. But as it also includes the more ornery job of cleaning all the toilets and crockery there too, she may think of outsourcing it to India....