Not so 'perfect'! Insta filters, RTs, unrealistic workplace competition hurting mental health of millennial India

By Rashmi Ramesh

Striving towards being the best among your peers without knowing how much you can push yourself can work against you, impacting mental health. Instead, understanding and accepting that each person is unique and working on your strengths can boost self-esteem.

The need for perfectionism is on the rise among American, Canadian and British millennials, according to a study published last year by Thomas Curran and Andrew P Hill of the University of Bath and York St John University, respectively. A worrying result of this trend that is seeing an increase in the Indian context as well is that it can lead to mental health issues.

The youth population that is vulnerable to this threat is burgeoning. India is set to become the youngest country by 2020, said Dr Neetu Purohit, college counsellor and image consultant at the Indian Institute of Health Management Research University, Jaipur. A Morgan Stanley report shows that India will have 410 million millennials by then.


“While there is no scientific data available on the trend in India, it is evident that the need for achievement and doing well is very high among the youth, which can border on needing to be perfect and better than others around them,” said Kamna Chhibber, clinical psychologist and head of the mental health department at New Delhi-based Fortis LaFemme.

“Perfection of mind, body and career is something that the youth looks up to, but the problem starts when it becomes an unrealistic race. There must be a realistic level of aspiration in view of one’s abilities and potential. The environment of the person, including family, friends and educational institutions, sometimes contribute to this mad rush towards perfection as limitations and imperfections are snubbed at. We tend to forget that we are humans, with scope of human errors, which makes us expect from ourselves and others to be perfect like machines,” said Purohit.

PROBLEMATIC EQUATION
Perfection could be self-oriented, socially prescribed or other-oriented. People expecting perfection from themselves become too demanding of themselves — so much so that it affects their well-being. There is a mismatch between their desired and actual situation, and they go beyond their capacities to remove the gap, which is detrimental to their physical and mental health, Purohit explained.

TREND PREVALENT EVERYWHERE
On social media, where youngsters feel use multiple filters to make every picture look perfect, post regularly on social media sites about their ‘happening’ lives and constantly check their phones to see the number of likes/retweets/views their posts have got.

Neha Dutt, counselling psychologist at New Delhi-based Dharamshila Narayana Super-speciality Hospital, said the fear of social embarrassment and rejection is driving the current generation to become perfectionists.

“Youngsters are comparing themselves with others without knowing their own strengths and weaknesses. If these massive self-expectations are not met, it can lead to mental health disorders such as anxiety and severe depression,” she said. “Today, competition is high and the current generation has the fear of social embarrassment and rejection, so they will do whatever it takes to be perfect. While the influence of technology is good to some extent, a balance needs to be maintained so as to not get carried away by negative peer pressure,” said Dutt.

“Peer pressure has often been cited in medical research as one of the factors leading to chronic depression. The line between enhancing and faking the enhancement has blurred. The presentation has become more important than the real self. As the gap between the real self and the portrayed self increases, and this becomes a constant state, it can cause depression,” said Purohit.

In schools and colleges, where it is expected of every student to get perfect grades, do well in extracurricular activities, prepare for competitive exams and aim only for top-tier higher education institutions. Among peers, there is pressure to appear ‘cool’ and trendy. All this can take a toll on the body and mind, and cause severe stress disorders and depression.

“The World Health Organization’s Mental Health Status of Adolescents in Southeast Asia: Evidence for Action report, released in 2012, reported that one in four teens in India was depressed. Depression can be both a cause and effect of poor performance in school or college. In earlier times, there was a limit to socialisation — in this digital age, influence is arriving from distant, varied and many a time, unknown sources. This, coupled with the lack of value-laden advice that was an integral part of joint families and even nuclear ones, can cause issues.

Parental expectation as a source of anxiety and stress among adolescents and youth is well documented, but the extent to which self-oriented perfectionism could result in depression needs to be explored,” Purohit said.


In jobs, it begins right from interviews, where you are asked to describe your weakness and people proudly say they are perfectionists. This is followed by working long hours to cater to each client/boss’ need for the perfect product, dress a certain way, constantly strive for self-improvement and always be on the lookout for jobs that give them more money or job satisfaction. All this can cause stress, and can lead to sleep and eating disorders.

“If one has the passion needed for a job accompanied by the necessary skills and it is not affecting their psychological well-being, it need not be discouraged. The problem arises when one tries to impose perfection on others, and ape others without the willingness and commitment for perfection. The desire should commensurate with one’s capabilities and effort,” said Purohit.

Body image has become a major source of stress among millennials, with them looking at airbrushed models on magazines and heavily edited pictures of social media stars for inspiration. It doesn’t help that most fashion houses model clothes with only one particular body type in mind, and both men and women are conditioned to think that only a certain type of body is desirable. This can lead to unhealthy body image issues, eating disorders and stress.

“The desire to have a body type that is socially acceptable can cause depression as one’s effort to look a certain way may not materialise due to difference in body types, environment, as well as exercise and eating routines. It can cause severe eating disorders as people can starve themselves into being thin, take unregulated supplements to bulk up, and over-exercise; anxiety when the desired result is not met; and low self-esteem when they constantly chide themselves for not meeting the socially accepted definition of attractive,” Dutt said.

WHAT’S THE WAY OUT?
The solution lies in creating an environment where there is acceptance and celebration of differences. “No two individuals can or should be alike and thus different people will find success in different things. Ensuring that this message is conveyed to the youth is important — it needs to start right in schools through sensitisation and awareness programmes,” said Chhibber. “We must push people to take care of themselves, focus on unwinding and ensure that they regularly detox, even from the digital world,” she said.

“While excellence cannot be discouraged, the focus needs to be on maintaining balance. Multidimensional perfectionism has been found to be particularly disturbing, with strong linkages to mental illnesses. We need to be wary of our perfectionist tendencies and focus on our health and happiness instead,” said Purohit.