Nobody wants to go, nobody wants to offend: Gurgaon CEO exposes the awkward truth behind Indian wedding invitations

Indian weddings are synonymous with celebration, family time and a gala. However, the guest list can sometimes become a focus of stress. Gurgaon-based CEO and Co-founder Jasveer Singh recently highlighted the peculiar cycle behind wedding invitations in India, where people may invite hundreds of guests out of fear of offending them, while those guests, in turn, may attend for the same reason. His observation raises a larger question about whether some wedding invitations are driven by genuine affection or simply social obligation.

Gurgaon-based CEO, Jasveer Singh, took to X and shared one of the most relatable topics when it comes to Indian weddings and who gets invited. The Co-founder and CEO shared that he found Indian marriage invitations to be funny. Why? Because people end up inviting 500 guests, and not inviting 350 of them might leave them offended. He shared that the 350 guests who end up attending the wedding “come because declining might offend you.”

He further added that both sides, the invitees and the invited, complain about the inconvenience, but then repeat the same thing in the next wedding. He says it's not a wedding-related problem. Instead, it's a reciprocity and societal obligation-related problem, which becomes extremely visible in Indian weddings. The most common chain of thought in Indian weddings is that “if I don’t invite them, they’ll feel bad - So I invite them. If they invited me and I don’t go, they’ll feel bad - So they come.” He further explains the dilemma. Neither person wanted the interaction or inconvenience, but both end up spending their time, energy and even money to protect the other from an offence, that may or may not exist.

Shaadi mein jaana padega’ says a lot

Singh illustrated this social pressure through everyday language. He said conversations often sound like, “Yaar, Sunday ko uski shaadi mein jaana padega,” highlighting the word “padega” as evidence that attending can feel like something one has to do rather than something one wants to do. He contrasted this with going on a holiday. People are unlikely to say they “have to” go to Goa when they are genuinely excited about the trip. For Singh, the language itself can reveal whether an activity is driven by desire or obligation. When attending a wedding starts feeling like a task to complete, the event may have shifted from celebration to social compliance.

When wedding circles grow beyond genuine relationships

Singh acknowledged that plenty of people genuinely enjoy weddings, particularly when it involves close family and real friends. But guest lists can eventually extend far beyond those emotional circles. Distant relatives, former colleagues, neighbours, business contacts, parents' acquaintances and people who have not been spoken to in years can all become part of the invitation list. At that point, reciprocity can take over. A relationship may continue largely because both sides fear breaking the unwritten ritual of maintaining it. If attending someone's wedding feels like a task you have to complete, then for that relationship the event has stopped being a celebration and become social compliance.

An invitation should not create a debt

As per Jasveer Singh, people should invite others because they genuinely want them present, and attend because they genuinely want to be there. He also argued that declining an invitation should become more socially acceptable instead of automatically being interpreted as disrespect. For Singh, an invitation should communicate a genuine desire to have someone present, rather than silently creating an expectation that the favour will eventually be returned. The idea is simple: a wedding invitation should mean “I’d love you to come”, not “Now you owe me attendance.”

Netizens react

The post also sparked reactions from users, with one person humorously calling Indian weddings more of an “attendance system” than a celebration. Another recalled their mother’s familiar logic that if the family stops attending others’ weddings, nobody will turn up for theirs. A user shared that their mother sends them to weddings of distant relatives whose names they barely know. Another summed up the sentiment by saying Indian weddings often run on “food and fear of offence.”