Love in the times of lockdown: ITC Engage decodes the youth’s changing approach towards romance in this survey

Aeons ago, a romantic evening meant going out for dinners and movies, chilling in a crowded lounge sipping on our favorite cocktails and kissing each other good night to let them know that you had a great time silently. These intimate experiences have been abruptly replaced with social distancing, mask-wearing, and the threat of catching a deadly infection. If you’ve ever been romantically involved, you probably know what it’s like to get butterflies when someone flirts with you or gives you a certain look. But ITC Engage and Love Survey 2021 has found that one and a half years into the lockdown, it’s not common to experience this because you’re not even with the person. Romance is being kept alive through self-vanishing snaps, wishing mornings with GIFs and snatching away time from never-ending work calls to make elaborate phone/ video calls. Before the pandemic, video calls were designated for long-distance couples, which now, most relationships have turned into. And while it isn’t easy to keep the spark alive in your ongoing relationship, developing real feelings for someone based on virtual interactions is proving to be a more arduous task for new lovers and those searching for a connection.

*The Engage Love Survey 2021 was conducted with 1199 young men and women between 18-35 years living in metros and non-metros. IPSOS Research Private Limited conducted the survey in December 2020. A global leader in market research, it commissioned a study to explore the changing language of love in this New Normal. The study discovers attitudes & behavior of young India towards romance in the new normal. Engage has always celebrated the language of love and the evolving expression of romance.

When the odds of finding a serendipitous meet-cute are stacked against you

With everything from work meetings to classes going online, there’s just no scope for socializing, which means less potential for new connections. These changes to the way we build relationships make romance seem increasingly out of reach. The ways we might meet someone, in a casual setting like a big concert or a shared table at a café, have vanished. And even when starting on dating apps, you cannot typically meet up soon after. ‘Love Survey 2021’ by ITC Engage confirms that the lockdown has put new relationships under stress – with almost 80% of single /casual daters finding it challenging to initiate/ develop a relationship. 75% of respondents feel starting and developing relationships has become more difficult due to lockdowns. On the other hand, it also helped people understand meaningful aspects of their relationships.

But, if you were someone who couldn’t jostle up the courage to ask someone out face to face, there’s good news. Half of the respondents (50%) believe that romance in the virtual world works well for people who are a little shy/introverted in real life. In some ways, online dating is a perfect match for introverts. They tend to be good at expressing themselves in writing, and many of them have active online social lives, so they’re comfortable with computer-mediated communication. They’re also good at “getting” people they meet online, thanks to their skill of reading between the written lines. Fortunately, this pandemic might pave the quiet way for a happy ever after for introverts.

However, 50% of respondents in metro cities find romance in the virtual world to be more flirtatious or casual and generally not serious. Not that it’s a bad thing, but if you wish to utilize this time to settle down romantically, maybe you need to tread carefully. Also, be cautious of cybercrimes, which was a very real thing before the pandemic too. But now, more people (46% of the respondents) feel its presence and feel that romancing behind the screens can become very dangerous.

Covid-19 hasn’t wholly killed romantic relationships, but it has undoubtedly made things a lot more complicated
The study aimed to report attitudes & behavior of young India towards romance in the new normal, and its findings are pretty relatable. If you thought you were the only one who didn’t get butterflies in the stomach while dating online, know that 98% of the total respondents believe virtual romance is entirely different from real romance. Virtual romance is perceived to lack authenticity, is more casual in nature and risky. So no, there’s nothing wrong with you (or your stomach), but the screen in between you two is the real culprit for buffering your emotions longer than your interest.

On the other hand, couples who live together and have all the time in the world to relish and enjoy each other’s company while it lasts are making the most of it. Not finding enough time to spend with your partner or to contemplate on your relationship’s progress used to be a massive deal-breaker for many, but the isolation due to the pandemic has helped 85% of the respondents understand meaningful aspects of their relationships. Missing your significant other half after extended time together is not as bad as it may seem if it allows you to make efforts to reach out to them and appreciate them more than ever before. And the lockdown has helped 84% of the respondents find new and innovative ways of connecting with their partners.

‘The way you make me feel’ has changed adjectives.
Love has been recognized as an enabler that can pierce through the hearts of lovesick partners. It has been known to offer comfort with a timeless message of devotion. Even jaded lovers have sent out prayers to plead for affection, and coy couples have invented unspoken love languages. But alas, linking romance with positive words has shown a decline through the course of the pandemic. In the COVID world, there has been a 23% drop for the word ‘being together’, followed by a 14% dip for ‘chemistry’. Additionally, associations for negative words like ‘difficult’, ‘anxiety’ and ‘frustrating’ have increased by 25%, 15% and 20%, respectively– indicating a shift in the idea of romance in the new normal.

‘Love conquers all’ is still the most vital hope
It is often said that love conquers all, that love is the greatest force in the universe. It is the force that gives healing and life, binds souls together, and whispers to us that all will be well. Keeping this hope alive in their heart, 36% of respondents in non-metro cities agreed that physical distancing is not a hindrance to romance these days. In contrast to the opinion in the non-metros, only 24% of respondents from metro cities felt the same. There are various means available to continue the affair and keep the spark alive. Organizing fun virtual dates, enjoying a movie marathon, or a sudden virtual surprise are quirky ways to keep the connection as authentic as possible. However, if you are someone who will always cheer for holding hands while walking in the rain, sharing sweet nothings in person, ‘I am vaccinated’ is the hottest pickup line for you.

With memories of the olden romance nestled in our minds strong, we should all vow to remain six feet apart for months to come. And while we may be frozen in place for the time being, soon enough, we’ll again be breaking up face-to-face and ravishing each other in the flesh. Because that’s the best thing about love - it never really changes much.