Is buying your kids their first beer a good idea?

It became a tradition after her XII board exams. After every last exam, Amboli-based media student Richa Batra celebrates with classmates over dinner and cocktails ("I prefer vodka-based ones").

The 20-year-old has been drinking since she was 16. It started at a wedding she attended with her parents, when they decided to let her try a bit of wine. "We didn't want her to experiment without our knowledge. This way, she was trying something new in a safe environment," says her mother, Shweta Batra, who works in the HR department of a financial firm.

Privileged urban Indian parents like the Batras are no different from their British counterparts.
According to new research, one in four parents of 14 to 17-year-olds surveyed by a British charity are okay offering their underage teens alcohol. On an average, it's nine units of alcohol for a post-exam party (equivalent of four cans of beer, an entire bottle of wine or a third of a bottle of vodka).

Parents argue, it is inevitable.

Maharashtra's legal drinking age is 25 -the highest in the world. In China, it's 18, Japan keeps it at 20, South Korea at 19 and in Pakistan, non-Muslims can drink at age 21.

The alcoholic beverage market in India is estimated at Rs 50,700 crore.

Teenagers between 15 and 19 are spurring alcohol sales, with girls having their first drink as early as 15, reveals a survey conducted by Assocham Social Development Foundation (ASDF).

Signs that spell alcohol dependency

Blood shot eyes, slurred speech, problems sleeping, persistent cough, unexplained injuries, fluctua tion in weight, fatigue and social withdrawal. Nobody waits to turn 25 to try alcohol, argues Shweta. But starting young has an obvious downside. According to a study published in the Harvard Medical School publication, drinkers who start early are at higher risk of engaging in violent behaviour and experimenting with unprotected sex or multiple partners. Those who begin drinking before 15 are four times more likely to develop alcohol dependency than those who begin at 21, said the report.

"She's a good kid who gets good grades. Most of her friends drink too but not all their parents know. We didn't want her to keep unnecessary secrets," says Shweta. While liberals may laud this modern approach, those working in the field of alcohol de-addiction say a parent's primary aim should be to convince his kids that alcohol is to be used in moderation. Child psychologist Dr Avinash DeSousa says the pattern is commonplace -children drink less under parental supervision but are likely to engage in binge drinking when with friends. Most parents, he claims, are aware that their kids drink but aren't sure how much or how often. "It's not uncommon for them to give the adolescent leeway, even turn a blind eye. Unless there is an accident or fight, they remain unaware of the extent of the habit, says DeSousa.

A 14-year-old Bandra school boy, who is counselling for alcohol addiction, began drinking as an after-school activity. His parents were aware of the habit, but convinced he was only having "a drink or two occasionally". They ignored it until one evening, he had to be escorted back home by his friends because he couldn't walk straight, says DeSousa, adding that the boy is on medication to help control the craving and mood swings.

Arguing against the idea of parents introducing kids to alcohol, he says, "It validates the idea that it is okay to drink. While parents hope this takes away from the mystery, it doesn't." Malad-based clinical psychologist Sadia Raval agrees. "But parents must realise," says Raval, "that just because they are allowed to occasionally drink at home, doesn't mean they won't drink outside or progress to stronger substances."

It's a tricky balancing act for parents, experts realise. Most of them are trying to cope with circumstances that are alien to them.

"The goal posts have changed," says Raval.

DeSousa's experience tells him, alcohol dependency is fuelled by imitation. If you open up a beer each time you've had a good day, your child is going to internalise the pattern. "Without playing the moral card, state the facts. Discuss what ODing on alcohol can do to the body," he suggests. The Batras claim their decision has inculcated responsi ble behaviour in Richa. She calls to be picked up if she's had more than a drink. "One friend, who is assigned driving duty for the day, makes sure s/he doesn't drink. Or a parent goes to pick them up," she says.

Admonishing the child for coming home drunk will prod them to find an alternative, says Raval. "Or they decide not to come home at all."

No matter how good your kid fares in school, s/he is equally susceptible to alcohol dependency which can be brought on my multiple factors including peer pressure, a family history of drinking, or a low phase.

"For children, parents are the ultimate authority. So, when we ask a child why he won't stop drinking, he inadvertently points to a parent who does it often too," says DeSousa.

(Some names have been changed on request)