If deprived of Chinglish, fall back on Indlish

Despite many laments about the fall in standards of English —and the current move to push Hindi as the lingua franca here — India still has not reached China’s level. After all, chuckle-inducing signs such as “Child Beer” and “Visitable Juice” in India are due to phonetic transmission losses rather than hilarious wrong translations that are the cause of China’s most recent crackdown — on Chinglish.

While Indian signage is not totally incomprehensible, the average English-speaking person in China would be hard-pressed to figure out what a “Racist Park” is, or what a plate of “Sexual Harassment Dried Bamboo Shoot” or “Roasted Husband” might contain. These cryptic signs certainly add a frisson of mystery to quotidian tasks of English speakers such as buying groceries.

No wonder many foreigners are already saying that the Chinese authorities’ stern move to “standardise” signs and translations in several key sectors will wipe out one of the unique joys of living in that country. Homogeneity has been rightly identified as one of the least attractive aspects of globalisation, and this example certainly demonstrates it. India is too chaotic and indisciplined for any such move to ever be effective. So, those soon to be deprived of their daily quota of signboard sniggers in China can always safely head westwards to India.