Hold on to your emotions: Men are not expressive in their friendships, says new survey

Close to 7 in 10 men don’t tell their best friends how they feel about them very often.

By Glynda Alves, ET Bureau | Oct 08, 2020, 05.22 PM IST

Expressing yourself leads to better mental health, something that’s crucial for us all during a global pandemic. But, it turns out that Indian men are not keen on showing emotion, no matter how close the bond with their friend is.

A recent survey by YouGov India & McDowell’s No1 Soda has revealed that most friends prefer to not express their true emotions. The survey conducted across the country among men in the age group of 25-45 years aimed to understand the complex nature of Indian friendships. Here are some of the findings.

60% of the people said they call/reach out to their family members and partners every day. However, when it came to best friends, less than one-third (28%) stated that they are able to keep in touch on a daily basis.
However, over 50% of them are likely to reach out to their friends first and foremost if they were left stranded in the middle of the night, indicating that the relationship is not just casual, but one that’s based on dependability.
Close to 7 in 10 (68%) say that they don’t actually tell their best friends how they feel about them very often. This was further validated where the respondents said, even though friends are trusted to come to the rescue in difficult times, talking to them about feelings or emotions is somehow not the “norm”, and is saved for times of need.
The reasons indicate that they believe the bond to be stronger than words can express. Whilst 44% say that they don’t do it “Because it is not required, they know how I feel”; another 38% say that its “Because they mean more to me than I can express in words.”
Data suggests that they are most likely to do it when things are not right – like when either of them is facing any stress in personal life (56%), or when either of them is heart broken or had their heart broken (42%)

The survey also brought forth statistics that confirmed that nearly 40% of the men interviewed in this survey agreed that the frequency of calling/reaching out to their friends had gone down compared to a time before the pandemic. Whereas, 7 in every 10 men also indicated that the pandemic has not been able to shake their bond – while on one hand, 38% of the men agreed that talking to a friend helps them feel normal during these times, another 32% say that despite the physical restrictions, their friendship has remained strong.

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