Getting back into the dating pool? Here's what to expect

Dating is always an odd experience. There are rules, but nobody knows them. There are special codes, but nobody has a cipher. Yet, somehow, unless you're in your 20s, things are weirder than they've ever been. Here's what is different now:

It's hard to deal with the amount of online dating options

Right now, you have thousands of other human beings at your fingertips through a variety of channels. As always, you can hit up bars, clubs, and shows. It's a far cry from when your dating pool was largely your friends and their friends. These unlimited options are great at first, but just like any decision, the sheer amount of choice ends up weighing on you. You nitpick. You're paralysed by fear that something better is out there because “good enough” isn't good enough. Plus, with online dating, everyone's so preoccupied with how good you are “on paper”, but it means very little. An algorithm can't guarantee that shared political beliefs or a preference about your favourite cereal will create a spark.

The deal breakers are now much bigger deals

When you're in your 20s, deal breakers tend to be pretty superficial. It might boil down to what music they like or a subtly annoying nervous tick. If you're smart, you learn to ignore these things and be more open-minded. However, when you hit the dating scene again later, these things change. Your first couple of date conversations already start hitting into the hard questions of children, career, home ownership, and marriage. The older you get, the less time you have, and the less time you feel like wasting on someone who doesn't have the same goals as you.

The ‘game' is different, and bluntness is king

Want to stop seeing someone? Want to ask someone out? Just say it. In your 20s, it's all about the game, but the game changes when you venture out as a mature adult. The old “three day” or “five day” rule of asking someone out again is out the window. If you enjoy someone's company, ask them out again whenever you want. Chances are the two of you will split hairs over scheduling conflicts before you settle on a date anyway. Things seem to move a lot faster too. The dreaded exclusivity conversation pops up much sooner. So don't be afraid to walk away if something's not working even though it seems like it should be. Likewise, if things are working, let them keep working and don't over think things too much.