Five things you need to stop doing for the sake of your sex life

The honeymoon phase of your relationship is when you are still sexually exploring each other, and each time feels like fireworks. However, continuing those fireworks when you are in a long-term relationship is what really counts. It may happen slowly without you even noticing, but what once was a strong and healthy sex life can turn into days and nights of frustration over your physical needs not being met. Here are the top five things ruining your sex life:

1. Acting like a jerk

The hard part about being a jerk is that you don't realise you're being one unless you are in tune with yourself. A lot of times, there are external circumstances — like your job or discontent with life — that affect your mood and makes you vent in other ways. The key is to get honest with yourself about what's bothering you and how you're treating your partner as a result. Those behaviours are affecting your sex life because they're turning your partner off and causing tension in your relationship.

2. Making assumptions about your partner

It may not be you — it may be your partner that's acting a certain way. Too often, instead of approaching the situation from a place of understanding, you make assumptions. And that kills your sex life. The best sex starts with more than the physical. It starts in our minds. If you have poor communication with your partner, you'll never know what's going on and how you can help.

3. Making choices that affect your confidence and energy

Your desire for sex is affected by how much energy you have and how you feel about yourself. You kill your sex drive with what you eat and how active you are. Your health is important in keeping your sex life exciting beyond the honeymoon phase. If you are out of shape or overweight, it not only affects your energy — it affects your self-esteem. Create healthy eating habits and make exercise a part of your daily routine.

4. Waiting until it's too late

Practically, you both need sleep. There is also an issue of timing, and this can be compounded if you have children. Sex isn't one of those things that should be scheduled like another appointment, but you have to be practical. If you want sex, you should drop little clues with your partner. Kiss them passionately as you prep dinner. Flirt with them throughout the day dropping dirty little teasers. Don't wait until you're both tired and ready for bed before you make it clear that you are in the mood.

5. Pursuing others

One of the best ways to kill your sex life is to think about, f lirt with or pursue someone other than your partner. Doing so is easier today with the access to internet and the world it opens up. It can start with looking and turn into a full-blown desire to sleep with someone else. Those thoughts and desires are in your mind, and that's manifested physically in your life. You either picture that person while you're having sex or it causes you not to want to have sex because you feel a little guilty. Remember, sex starts with what's going on in our minds.