Dr D's column: Were Messi & Ronaldo 'selfish' in skipping the Ballon D’or ceremony?

He is one of the leading doctors in the country. He values his privacy (but not of his clients.)

Dear Dr D,

Between us, we have won the Ballon D’or 10 times. You may not have heard of it. The term means ‘golden ball’ and it is given to the best footballer in the world.

In the last decade, one of us has won it five times and the other one has also won it five times. They may as well stop giving it to anyone else. Why not just have an annual date when both of us are given the thing together? This will avoid the anticipation and the work and the voting and all the other stuff.


Anyway, this year it was given to neither of us. It went to a Croatian fellow named Modric who actually acknowledges that he did not deserve it. His words as he took the stage were: “This award is not just mine. It is my teammates’ from Real Madrid and Croatia. Without my coaches, I would not have won this and without my family I would not be the player I am today.”

See? We on the other hand have no doubt that we deserve it personally and without help from anyone else. For 10 years straight! That is why we felt that we should not attend this year’s ceremony. Please tell us we were right in doing so because we are being called selfish.

Lionel and Cristiano,
Barcelona-Madrid

Dear Lionel and Cristiano,

Ballon D’or you said? You’re right. I haven’t heard of it.

STATUTORY WARNING: This humour column is not for the weak-kneed or the thin-skinned.