Dr D's column: Trump and the Santa Claus chronicles

The President believes that Father Christmas is fake news.

Dr D's column: Trump and the Santa Claus chronicles
He is one of the leading doctors in the country. He values his privacy (but not of his clients.)

Dear Dr D,

It’s December 28. Not the night before Christmas: it’s three whole days after the event. Have you seen Santa? Did he come down your chimney and leave free stuff? No. Because he’s FAKE NEWS!


I spent the week having to pat brats on the head and talking about Santa like he was real. One girl was seven years old and spoke like she believes in elves and flying reindeer! I said to her: “Look here. At your age I was pulling blondes, making my second million, erecting my fourth tower and grabbing women by the knee (I was too little to reach higher).” Is that an appropriate age to think of imaginary worlds? I don’t think so!

Also I don’t approve of what Melania told some kids, namely that Santa Claus was in Morocco or the Sahara. Why would a white guy be in those sh*thole places? Unless all this political correctness has turned Santa into a feminazi lesbian bisexual transgender! And his elves a multiracial United Nations type situation!

Never happened! Keep your eyes open, I always tell the kids. And that’s a damn sight better piece of advice than meaningless stuff like “I hope you ask Santa for something for the poor!” But to say that in these times is hate speech! I’m going to turn to Fox News instead. Byeeee!

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D Trump,
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

Dear D Trump,

I couldn’t figure out what your question was or whether it was a question at all. You seem to ramble on without purpose. You seem to think you were an adult at seven. I regret to say you don’t seem to be one even at 70.

- STATUTORY WARNING: This humour column is not for the weak-kneed or the thin-skinned.
Swarovski, Gold: Here's A Look At The Most Expensive Christmas Trees
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It’s no surprise that the most expensive tree in the world was put on display in the land of excess — the UAE. The Emirates Palace hotel, the luxury Abu Dhabi hotel, in 2010, unveiled what is thought to be the world’s most expensive Christmas tree, valued at more than $11 million. The 13-metre fake evergreen tree, located in the hotel’s lobby, was decorated with silver and gold bows, ball-shaped ornaments and small white lights. However, clearly not satisfi ed with just that, the hotel also hoisted watches, necklaces and solid gold bracelets. In hindsight, for a hotel that provides automatic machines to sell gold bars and the use of a private jet, a $11.4 million Christmas tree is no big deal.

It’s no surprise that the most expensive tree in the world was put on display in the land of excess — the UAE. The Emirates Palace hotel, the luxury Abu Dhabi hotel, in 2010, unveiled what is thought..
Read More

From solid gold to diamond-encrusted branches, here’s a look at some of the most fabulous and expensive Christmas trees on display.

(In Pic: On the left is the Swarovski crystal Christmas tree, and on the right is the Pro Aurum gold Christmas tree)

From solid gold to diamond-encrusted branches, here’s a look at some of the most fabulous and expensive Christmas trees on display.(In Pic: On the left is the Swarovski crystal Christmas tree, and on..
Read More

Trust Hong Kong to pull a stunt as glittering as this one. In 2013, passengers fl ying out of Hong Kong airport for their annual Christmas break were greeted by a 50-foot Christmas tree sparkling with millions of Swarovski gold and silver crystals brought all the way from Austria. Rising up to the second level of the airport, the crystal tree cost Swarovski an estimated $1.8 million to set up.

Trust Hong Kong to pull a stunt as glittering as this one. In 2013, passengers fl ying out of Hong Kong airport for their annual Christmas break were greeted by a 50-foot Christmas tree sparkling wit..
Read More

It was a yellow Christmas in Japan in 2012 when jewellery giant Ginza Tanaka stunned shoppers with a $4.24 million gold Christmas tree. Standing tall at 2.4-metre, this solid gold tree was erected to commemorate the 110th anniversary of Walt Disney. The 40-kg tree was decked with Disney characters like Mickey Mouse, Tinker Bell and Cinderella and revolved on a carousel. Ten artisans working for two months ensured that the Disney Tree made it to the store display in time.

It was a yellow Christmas in Japan in 2012 when jewellery giant Ginza Tanaka stunned shoppers with a $4.24 million gold Christmas tree. Standing tall at 2.4-metre, this solid gold tree was erected to..
Read More

The festive season in Germany got all the more sparkly this year, thanks to German Gold dealer Pro Aurum’s Christmas tree. Touted as Europe’s most expensive tree, it is made out of 2,018 gold coins, that all rest in slots on an acrylic tree. Atop the tree sits a larger gold coin star. The glittering pyramid, displayed at Pro Aurum’s Munich Goldhaus, is three-metres high. The ‘tree’ was made in cooperation with the Austrian mint and is valued at $2.6 million. The dealer said it still could have been worth more, but gold’s value declined during the second half of this year.

The festive season in Germany got all the more sparkly this year, thanks to German Gold dealer Pro Aurum’s Christmas tree. Touted as Europe’s most expensive tree, it is made out of 2,018 gold coins, ..
Read More

While most entries on this list feature towering trees, Takashimaya went the other way to prove that size is not all that matters when it comes to Christmas tree glamour. Based on the design by Parisian fl ower boutique Claude Quinquaud, the Japanese department store chain managed to shrink a Christmas tree to 40 centimetres, clustering it with a small tower of preserved roses. Each rose petal was encrusted with diamonds from Australian and African extraction, all of which cost a cool $1.8 million.

While most entries on this list feature towering trees, Takashimaya went the other way to prove that size is not all that matters when it comes to Christmas tree glamour. Based on the design by Paris..
Read More

While most entries on this list feature towering trees, Takashimaya went the other way to prove that size is not all that matters when it comes to Christmas tree glamour. Based on the design by Parisian fl ower boutique Claude Quinquaud, the Japanese department store chain managed to shrink a Christmas tree to 40 centimetres, clustering it with a small tower of preserved roses. Each rose petal was encrusted with diamonds from Australian and African extraction, all of which cost a cool $1.8 million.

While most entries on this list feature towering trees, Takashimaya went the other way to prove that size is not all that matters when it comes to Christmas tree glamour. Based on the design by Paris..
Read More

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