Dr. D's column: Tintin and Asterix's take on Belgium vs France

The characters have quite a lot to say about the semi-final.

FIFA 2018
Agencies
Tintin (L) and Asterix (R).
Great snakes!
Dr D,

Did you see the game? It was us versus the Frenchies and it was a close one but — crumbs! — in the end they squeaked past us. We had a chance or two, mind you, and if it hadn’t been for Umtiti’s header — jumping jellyfish, it was a good one — we would have seized the day. I thought in some of the plays they didn’t play fair and deserve a bit of name-calling.

Anyway, as my friend Capt Haddock (retd) might say: “Billions of bilious blue blistering barnacles in a thundering typhoon! Black Marketers! Blackamoors! Blackbirds! Blackguards! Blithering Bombardiers! Balderdash and babysnatchers! Cachinnating cockatoos ! Cannibals ! ”


And , referring to the referee: “Diplodocus, ectoplasm! Fourlegged Cyrano!”

Thanks Doc, that’s all I wanted to say. But I think it’s only fair that you hear from the other side.


Tintin,
Brussels

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Dear Dr D,

The Belgians wanted to Getafix on us but if one takes a Panoramix view that was never possible. Our team’s Vitalstatistix were superior, no matter what Impedimenta they came up with

Their fans were all Cacofonix (while ours were Monosyllabix) and quite Unhygienix but no team of such Geriatrix could win against us! We’re through to the final — Ful lyautomat ix and with a goalie like Obelix. So there!

Asterix,
Paris

Dear Tintin and Asterix,


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Thank you for writing but your accounts are quite cartoonish. I am now middle aged and no longer have the patience for this.

He is one of the leading doctors in the country. He values his privacy (but not of his clients.)

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