Dr D's column: The tale of cricket and a misspelt name

Dear Dr D,

I tried hard to make good with Indians ("Jia Hnid!"). But I made a mitsake. How cna I make anemds?

It went like tihs. I offered tritube to your captain Virat Kiohi. But by mitsake I spelled his name " Virat Kholi". Now bscause I am an indophlie ("Bhrata Maat ki jia!") and a lovre of all things Indain ("I love you ShahKurh Roshan!") I know a thign or two about yuor nation. I know Kohl (eyeliner) and I know Khali (wretsler and also 'emtpy').

But I was slightly consfued by the captian's name. Kohli? Kiohli? Okhli? Not sure: even thouhg, as I siad, I'm a fan ("BMJK!") of your wondefrul natoin.

And so I took the best guess and went for "Kholi" at the bottom of my bat. Mitsake. I got absued on twittre. My problem is not absue. As a woman critecker I am accustomed to benig treated baldy. My issue is: not being seen in the right lihgt by a pepole I really love: you ("I love Sawdehsi!")

What can I do to maek anemds?

Ms Captain, Lord's

Dear Ms Captain,

You have nothing to be ashamed of and you have no need to explain. Your love shines true, even though you have been at a loss for words (or the way they are put together).

Let's call it the love that dare not spell its name.

(Dr D is one of the leading doctors in the country. He values his privacy - but not of his clients.)

STATUTORY WARNING: This humour column is not for the weak-kneed or the thin-skinned.