Dr. D's column: Taking the wrong turn

Diyar Dr D,

Fustly, i dont drink alcol. Yes i sumtimes hav booz but gawdpromiz i never touched alcol. So the case of the prostitushan is totaly rong. Ok? Now here out my defenz.

Tat nite i was drinkng water. hav u ever had water in our cities? Itz so bad color. Sum places i order a glass, and it is yellow. Sometimez itz white, the itz red. And its no surprise tat the water so poluted can affect u. Many daze in the murning i get up wid a hungover!! Im like "baws, ure so well hungover! How this?!"

I tel u even all fancy places serve this stuf. Anyone knows where tey get it from? I think itz imported also.

But who can say Doc? So much adultery happens with all items. All producks.

Now then. De udder thing is that: i wasunt drivin. No sir. It was an automatik car, doc! It sayz on the manyual also. Self drivin car, unless Rajnikant was remot controling it?! Anyhoo. I wasnt driving. No and i hav proof. Inwas full of 90 proof. The prove os dat if i waz drivin, i wuld remember!? But i dont?!

Then how can i be de one driving? No. No.

No alcol. No drivin. Give me a brake, Dr Dre. At least i tried to compunset for de lives lost wid money.

Buy Jaan



Dear Buy Jaan

I am not familiar with the details of your case, but you seem either disoriented, or slightly demented. I do not use the term as one of abuse, but a clinical and diagnostic one.

You seem troubled by many things. I suggest you get help. It is remarkable to me that you seem delusional and vague, but also confident and pushy. Like someone successful but softheaded.

But I seem to be over-reading this. One as demented as you can never be a big success. Can he?.


(STATUTORY WARNING: This humour column is not for the weak-kneed or the thin-skinned.)