Dr. D's column: Should Darwin's theory of evolution be removed from the Indian curriculum?

Dear Dr D,

My theory of evolution, in simple terms, goes roughly like this:

- Some physical traits — height, colour etc — are the expression of genes that are copied and passed on to offspring during reproduction.

- Mutations in these genes can produce new or altered traits, resulting in differences between organisms.

- New traits can also come from transfer of genes between populations, as in migration, or between species.

- Evolution occurs when these differences become more common or rare in a population, non-randomly through natural selection.

- Natural selection is a process that causes heritable traits that are helpful for survival and reproduction to become more common, and harmful traits to become more rare.

- This occurs because organisms with advantageous traits pass on more copies of these heritable traits to the next generation. - Over many generations, adaptations occur through a combination of successive, small, random changes in traits, and natural selection of those variants best-suited for their environment.

As is clear, this happens “over many generations”, usually even small changes taking millennia. How then is it possible to observe “a monkey becoming a man”? I do not understand why my work is being mangled thus. Could you please help?

C Darwin,
Rolling-in-Grave, Westminster Abbey

Dear Mr Darwin,

Thanks for writing to us. We are, most of us educated Indians, aware of how evolution works. The same group questioning you also says head transplants were an Indian invention, powered flight existed here a million years ago and a nuclear strike ended a ten-headed demon’s reign. None of us can see a monkey turn into man but the reverse is certainly possible.

* STATUTORY WARNING: This humour column is not for the weak-kneed or the thin-skinned.