Dr D's column: Should cross-border politics affect the game?

Diyar Daktar Saheb,

Salaam. Khairiyat? Of course khairiyat. Aap ki team toh jeet gayi. All time hamesha you are winning winning against us, your diyar neighbour. Hainji? We are losing world cup, we are losing T twanty and now losing chempiyun toffee also.

First that Sachin was blasting. Now toh so many are there good batter your team. Virat and Yuvi and woh dusra banda jisda naam pull gaya. All hitting us.

We team are sitting in departure lounge and discussing and one member said, ‘why not ask Daktar Saheb?’ He is solving all things. We need help because from front and back we are gatting from fans once we return. How to showing face at home?

‘Oe besharam’, they will calling us. Naxt problem, Daktar. Why we no in IPL, hainji? We are not good pilyer? Faster balling we are so many. We are not bannnyfit the karod Rupee celery udders are gatting. Wast Indies, Englund, New Jeelund. All gatting. We alone no chiyarleader short skirt going party with. Sad. Bad. Daktar.

Please. Thenk you.

Captain

Dear Captain,

I have sympathy for you and your team. You were bested by ours and that is sports. It happens. Your government does nasty things but that isn’t your fault. I notice also that many of your team come from modest backgrounds and don’t speak with the sophistication of Kohli, Yuvraj and the rest of our boys. That is something for you to be proud of and for us to follow.

Anyway, good luck for your return. It’s only a game. I wish we were mature enough to let you play in the IPL.

And I wish we were playing cricket with you regularly (and beating you regularly).


* STATUTORY WARNING: This humour column is not for the weak-kneed or the thin-skinned.