Dr D's column: Lalit Modi, Vijay Mallya & Nirav Modi should return to entertain us

Dear Dr D,

As you may have heard, the government of India wants to house us after we are extradited. We hope the right real estate agents are on the job but we fear this is not the case. Arthur Road has been asked to send a video of its insides and its environs to see if it is habitable. We can assure you that it is not. And we can say this on the basis of evidence (our friends and associates who have checked in there earlier). Just for example we have been told that:

• One has to wait for over an hour for room service.


• There is no valet parking.

• The Thai foot massage is given by men. You tell us, Doc, are these conditions fit to live in? They say that dinner is served at 6 pm sharp, but there is no mention of what time the bar opens. Then there is some talk of ‘anda cell’ and what not. Do they not know that some of us are vegetarians? When the courts here asked the Indians to show the conditions that were acceptable, they said things like ‘freshly painted’ (but which shade? Is it mauve or myrtle) and they claim that it has a ‘western toilet’ (what does that mean?) Is there an ‘Indian toilet’? We hope that doesn’t mean doing it in the open! Because we’re not coming.


We are pleased to remain, Yours faithfully and Yours sincerely and Innocent until proven guilty,

- NiMo, LaMo and VJM

Dear NiMo, LaMo and VJM,

We miss you. Please come back, even if only to entertain us

(The writer is one of the leading doctors in the country. He values his privacy - but not of his clients.)

Crime And Punishment: Five Russians Who Ran Afoul Of The Law And Made News

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Born Anna Vasil’yevna Kushchyenko, the f lame-haired Russian got a British citizenship through marriage. In June 2010, she was arrested along with nine other Russians on conspiracy charges in New York. She pleaded guilty and was deported to Russia as part of a prisoner swap. She has since become a famous model and television star in her home country. She was recently in the news for her pro-Trump Instagram profile.(Image: Instagram/@anya.chapman)

Born Anna Vasil’yevna Kushchyenko, the f lame-haired Russian got a British citizenship through marriage. In June 2010, she was arrested along with nine other Russians on conspiracy charges in New Yor..

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In 2010, Russian national Ku zmi n wa s arrested in the US, and, in 2011, he pled guilty in a cooperation agreement to fraud and computer intrusion. Kuzmin is the creator of the ‘Gozi’ malware, which he used to steal from banks across Europe and the US. The malware is said to have infected over a million computers. Kuzmin was sentenced to 37 months in jail and a fine of $6.9 million.(Image: www.mdzol.com)

In 2010, Russian national Ku zmi n wa s arrested in the US, and, in 2011, he pled guilty in a cooperation agreement to fraud and computer intrusion. Kuzmin is the creator of the ‘Gozi’ malware, which..

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A Soviet intelligence officer, his real name is Vilyam ‘Willie’ Genrikhovich Fisher. After spending many years in the US as a Soviet spy, he was arrested in 1957 and sentenced to 30 years in prison. However, within four years, he was exchanged for captured American pilot Francis Gary Powers. Ma rk Rylance won the Academy Award for his portrayal of Abel’s character in the 2015 Steven Spielberg film, Bridge of Spies. (Image: www.fbi.gov)

A Soviet intelligence officer, his real name is Vilyam ‘Willie’ Genrikhovich Fisher. After spending many years in the US as a Soviet spy, he was arrested in 1957 and sentenced to 30 years in prison. ..

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He is one of the mostwanted cybercriminals in the world and it is often remarked that he enjoys the lifestyle of a James Bond villain. The FBI has a $3 million bounty on his capture. Bogachev has been accused and indicted in the US for stealing hundreds of millions from banks. A report in The New York Times from March 2017 claims that Bogachev lives an enviable life in the open and is a possible asset to Russian intelligence. (Image: www.fbi.gov)

He is one of the mostwanted cybercriminals in the world and it is often remarked that he enjoys the lifestyle of a James Bond villain. The FBI has a $3 million bounty on his capture. Bogachev has bee..

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In 2003, Khodorkovsky was considered to be the wealthiest man in Russia, with a fortune close to $15 billion. Later in the same year, Khodorkovsky was charged with fraud. He was found guilty and sentenced to nine years in jail. In 2013, Vladimir Putin pardoned him. Upon release, Khodorkovsky became a resident of Switzerland, and was reported to be worth $500 million in 2014. He re-launched the ‘Open Russia’ initiative, which works to promote reforms in Russia and he has been described by The Economist as ‘Kremlin’s leading critic-in-exile’. (Image: www.khodorkovsky.com)

In 2003, Khodorkovsky was considered to be the wealthiest man in Russia, with a fortune close to $15 billion. Later in the same year, Khodorkovsky was charged with fraud. He was found guilty and sent..

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