Dr D's column: Is paying cricketers on the basis of category fair?

Dear Dr D,

India’s cricketers currently get paid on the basis of the following: experience, reputation and form. These were considered and players divided into Grades A, B and C. Does that sound fair to you? Yes. It does. It has served us for all these years well: why change it? But changing it is what the skip and the coach are doing. It’s being proposed that players now be paid by category: test players first, ODI wallahs next and T20 ones last. Does that sound fair to you? No. It doesn’t.

I used to... er, I mean Grade A players used to get paid Rs 2 crore, B got Rs 1 crore and C got Rs 50 lakh. Now, test players will get 15 lakh a test, ODIs will earn 7 lakh and I... er T20 players will get Rs 3 lakh a game.

My question to you: if nobody watches tests and most people f lock to T20, shouldn’t the money paid out be reversed? Most to T20 and least to tests? It seems fair to me... er, to retired captains who only play the shorter form. What do you feel?

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

I don’t follow cricket and cannot tell T20 from 420. However, I do know that most of the money that you... er, players make is not from fees. It’s from flogging chaddi -banian, toothpaste, insurance, automobiles, mobiles, cola and whatever other industry will pay.

If THAT money is also falling, and I presume it is since we’re now quibbling over the small change, then the question you... er, those who are hurting over this must ask is: since my career is over, shouldn’t I move on?

STATUTORY WARNING: This humour column is not for the weak-kneed or the thin-skinned.