Dr D's column: Funny tips that will help Air India Maharaja succeed
Dr D believes Maharaja's plan captures our times quite well.
By ET Bureau |
BCCL
Dear Dr D, My reign over the skies has lasted over seven decades. But these days my turban is a little tatty and I need to get up to speed with the other airlines. There are a few problems along the way. My ontime arrival rate is low and my fares are high. But I have thought of a few ways in which the service can be made more user-friendly and the experience of flying better. Some of these have already been implemented and others are proposals. What I want you to do is to see which ones I should retain. Okay? Here goes:
• Greet all passengers boarding with BMKJ. • Safety announcement in Sanskrit.
• At the end of safety announcement, include segment on Pushpak Vimana and other wonders of ancient flying. • No non-veg meal option. • Rename seat as ‘asana’. • End pilot’s greeting with ‘Jai Hind’. There you have it, Doc. What do you think? Does this sound like an airline you would like to fly?
Absolutely. I think your plan captures our times quite well and I am certain you will succeed. Good luck. I have a few suggestions for you to consider and they are:
• Have the pilot point out anti-national structures — JNU, AMU — as they are passed by. • Get the passengers to stand for anthem before each flight. •Change your moustache to make it like that of a recent news-making hiflier.
Jet Airways & Other Cash-Strapped Airlines Navigating Through Monetary Trouble
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Cash-strapped Jet Airways is in a tailspin, defaulting on its repayment to banks as well as delaying employees’ salaries. Here are some other airlines that had to navigate through monetary trouble.
Cash-strapped Jet Airways is in a tailspin, defaulting on its repayment to banks as well as delaying employees’ salaries. Here are some other airlines that had to navigate through monetary trouble.
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Air India is estimated to have a debt burden of about Rs 55,000 crore. Despite several bailouts from the government, the national carrier has been running in losses year after year. In 2018, Air Indi..
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Last year, a Ryanair aircraft was seized by French officials and 149 London-bound passengers were forced to disembark in a dispute over subsidies to the airline. The travellers were told informally b..
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A symbol of Italy’s post-war economic boom, Alitalia airline was put under special administration in 2017 for the second time in less than a decade after workers rejected its rescue plans. The airlin..