Dr. D's column: Dancing on thin ice

Dear Dr D

What's the point of being 'Dream girl' if dreams are to be denied? I am having mine fulfilled by executive fiat. Career in movies? Check. Hottie husband? Check. Gorgeous daughters? Check. Post career political moves? Check. And, now, get-richer scheme? No check. :(

The issue is land. I'm getting it at 1977 rates and I was told that was a big scandal. I was like 'What?! Boss, you know what I was doing in 1977? Sholay and Meera and Chacha Bhatija. I am still getting compliments for that. Is it strange then that I also be getting complementary rates for that? Of course not. And so, as I say to the haters, what's going of yours?'

Then there are the other madcap whiners — the environ-mentalists. They say something about my damaging mangroves. To them I say: 'you stupids. Mangroves are not even in season. And so what if I ruined a few? They will come again before the next monsoon.'

I think it's all down to jealousy, Doc. And it is not as if I'm eating up the land: it's still going to be where it was in 1977 and is today, so what's the big deal? I am going ahead with my Dunce Academy, Doc. Please encourage me.

HM, MP


Dear HM, MP

I was familiar with the Land Acquisition Act but this is the first I'm hearing about putting on an act for land acquisition.

You do realise that people think that the dunce academy is a sham, right? It is a cover for squatting on public property. Yes, it may be a properly executed Bharatanatyam squat, but it is a squat nonetheless.

I suggest that you, given how perfect your life is, offer full price and end this farce.