Dr D's advice for Kingfisher: The bird has flown

What is the meaning of life? I know this is an unusual question for this column to consider. But I have spent so much time in the spotlight of late that I am wondering what it is all about. What does it mean to be a bird and how is one to be defined? Aristotle described us as "feathered bipeds". But that was 2,400 years ago. I have looked for something more suitable, more modern. Here’s what I have come up with and it’s not entirely satisfying. Take a look:

Birds’s eye view: To have a commanding view and total control over one’s empire... Not.

Bird-brain: To be focused on fast cars and calendar girls.

Bird in a gilded cage: To be trapped in a luxury villa but to not be really free.

Early bird: To be among the first to take off, and among the first to crash land.

Birds of a feather: Even in the Sahara, you will not find such a pair.

Hit two birds with one stone: Inheritance and reputation, both smacked.

Bird in hand is worth two in the bush: Take many bags and run while one still can.

So that’s it, Doc. I see something of my present or future in these, but it’s not quite satisfying. Would you please help?

Regards,
Kingfisher (the bird)

Dear Kingfisher

Consider these.
This bird has flown: To flee.

Give someone the birdie: To show one’s contempt for the world as one flees.

(STATUTORY WARNING: This humour column is not for the weak-kneed or the thin-skinned.)