Dr. D and the curious case of fake news

Dear Dr D,

I am considering a decision of import (which you need not bother yourself with) but I need some input. For this you and your readers will need to take a small test, all right? Tell me what you make of these following news headlines:

1) Famers with cattle are now fearful of transporting them.
2) India is the world’s fastest growing economy because of me, not them.
3) ‘NiMo is their scam, not mine.’
4) Mysterious Rs 15 lakh arrives in bank account.
5) ‘I said it was ache and not achche’.
6) If you don’t like what’s being said, why don’t you go to Pakistan?
7) Afridi must be challenged because he’s a PhD.
8) Pappu doesn’t know anything.
9) ‘I’m trying but this job needs at least five more years. Maybe 10.’
10) India was better off 1,000 years ago (except for these last four years).

Email your responses to me, okay? (pl include your Aadhaar number)

Thanks!
szi@yale.con


Dear szi@yale.con,

This is a fascinating survey and thank you for sending it. There was an alarming report a couple of days ago which said that certain media would be blacklisted by the government if it were accused of spreading fake news. A few hours after that there was another report which said that this order had never been approved.

Which one do you think was fake?

STATUTORY WARNING: This humour column is not for the weak-kneed or the thin-skinned.