Don't mix money & relationships, says 'Eat, Pray, Love' author Elizabeth Gilbert

Becoming successful and famous has taught bestselling author Elizabeth Gilbert a few things. In a discussion about the specific effects of her 2006 memoir Eat, Pray, Love and its massive success, Gilbert says that she feared “blowing through” cash and spent four years renovating a hous e to perfection, only to move into a smaller one later.

One of the most poignant insights, she offered, was her perspective on money and friendship:

“The most difficult and challenging part for me about suddenly coming into a giant pile of money was that I initially felt that I had to redistribute it among all my friends. I felt I had always been an artist living close to the bone, and I have so many friends who were living the same way. So I felt like, ‘Wow, I got so lucky.’ So I gave a lot of money away to friends of mine.

“That had mixed results. In many cases, I had to really argue with some of my friends, to make them take the money, because wisely some of those people said, ‘This is going to really change our relationship.’ But I said, ‘No, it won’t. Just consider it a friendship dividend.’ I'm a utopian; I never anticipate bad results.”

She explains that while half of her gifts to friends were fulfilling and wonderful, some led to ruined friendships. “By giving money to my friends, I entered into their private lives more than I should have,” she says. “Suddenly a bunch of stuff became my business that should never have been my business in the first place.”

She says that she accepts responsibility for that choice, but that sometimes, she wishes she could undo it. Now, she prefers to give her money to charities. “I try not to mix money with friendship anymore.”