Censor Board Chairman seeks Dr. D's advice on censorship

Ask Dr. D
A cut from Scissor Hands

I am having questions for you, many, please giving discount on full rate, okay? Chalo.

One, you want to do sex in your house with your door open. Why?

Two, social media users don’t know India. Why they not shut up?

Three, our prime minister is greatest man — mystic yogi, magician genius, statesman well-dressed, speaker dress circle quality. Why anyone opposing him?

Four, can we allow anyone kiss more than 2 seconds?

Five, why only Saeed Mirza types must do censor, hainji?

Okay, now tum bolo.

Chairman Censor Board

Dear Chairman

I am astonished that someone like you has been given the job you have. It is a comment on the () of the () that a () like you should be ().

Do you know how many Indians are () that you are () the ()()()?

Many of us want dearly to () the () out of () and your master.

I hope my views on this are clear.

(Note to readers: Dr D’s column was censored by the Chairman and disallowed as being unpatriotic and offensive to the public taste as determined by the Chairman).

STATUTORY WARNING: This humour column is not for the weak-kneed or the thin-skinned.