Bengaluru techie, living alone, stopped cleaning his apartment before guests, friends came over. This taught him a lesson about himself

For many, living alone can be challenging, but for others, it can be a liberating experience. After all, only while living alone, do you truly realise your habits and quirks that often stay hidden while living with others. For Bengaluru techie, Shivank Goel, that realisation came through a visit of his friends dropping by. He realised how before their every visit, he would be frantically cleaning and hiding the mess of his house. Eventually, he decided to stop cleaning up his apartment, which led to an unexpected honest understanding of himself and a lesson in embracing himself.

Bengaluru techie shares what living alone taught him

Shivank Goel took to social media to share a series of observations about living alone, beginning with a striking thought: “You realise silence isn't quiet. It's loud.” He explained that silence can sometimes feel peaceful, while at other times, it can force people to confront thoughts they have been avoiding.


Goel also reflected on the emotional side of having a place entirely to yourself. “Closing the door doesn't mean you're hiding something,” he wrote, adding that sometimes, it simply means wanting some peace without having to explain it. But the novelty of independence can eventually fade. He described how bills, groceries and laundry become a repetitive part of everyday life. Living alone also meant learning to handle unexpected problems himself, including “spiders, cockroaches and 2AM noises”. As he put it, “You become your own emergency contact.”

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A post shared by Shivank Goel (@thezeroquotient)

There was another discovery too: “You discover your default settings.” Goel joked that he had once considered himself an early bird, only to realise that “your mom was” the reason he was up early.

He stopped cleaning before friends visited

In a caption accompanying his post, Goel revealed that one particular habit had started bothering him. “I live alone,” he wrote. But whenever someone called to say they were coming over, he would immediately begin frantic cleaning. He would quickly change his clothes, hide the laundry pile inside the closet, wash the two mugs sitting in the sink and spray room freshener. Over time, Goel began questioning the entire ritual.

“The entire act started seeming so stupid after a while,” he wrote. That prompted him to try an experiment. Instead of making his apartment presentable before guests arrived, he simply stopped fixing everything. The result was more revealing than he expected.

His friends visited and immediately pointed out what Goel described as his “factory settings”. His friends called him "messy" and questioned his choice of eating food right out of the delivery container. However, instead of feeling embarassed, he found the comments freeing. “That’s me. Thanks for telling me who I am,” he wrote.

‘I hope everyone gets to meet themselves once’

For Goel, the experiment was not really about cleanliness. It became an exercise in recognising and accepting the everyday habits that make up his life when nobody else is around. “Acknowledging my defaults gave me room to accept myself more,” he wrote. That realisation also connected with another lesson he had learned while living alone. Closing a door did not necessarily mean hiding something from others. Sometimes, it simply meant choosing solitude. He even identified small habits that he needed to work on, such as hanging up his keys immediately after returning home because otherwise, “I lose them every single time.”

Goel also described living alone as a privilege he now appreciates more deeply. He recalled that when he first wanted to live independently, his internship stipend was only enough to support his three-hour daily commute. “I'm so glad I get to live alone now,” he wrote. His post ended with, “I hope everyone gets to live alone once. I hope everyone gets to meet themselves once.”