Ask Dr. D: What is wrong with trying to figure out Trump?

Diyar Dr D,

Myself paltishun from paltikal party. Myself also minister. Myself part of opressed masses and axploited peoples. Media doing very bad-bad with me sir. Injustice also. I yam doing research work on Amrika preyident. Who he is doing, what all fact finding materials etc. This for national interest purpose I am doing.

I am finding out his missus is doing some shame shame photo shooting. For maadling purpose. What she is maadling with hout any clothes? Why for? To find out I am looking at her closely. Is she maadling some fairness cream? Hair remover? I am hard to find out. Hard hard.

Meanwhile this peoples from channel, paper etc they are taking from my backside. Photo and all. Then showing like “haawchee. What is paltishun doing?” Sir, I am servant of peepul. What is wrong in my invetsigashun of new preyident and his missus? What is the shame-shame if the purpose eez only to satisfy myself? I yam only playing with myself to teach what-all is happening in the world foreign.

What is the bad? Please tell.

Paltishun Kar Natak

Dear Paltishun,
You have nothing to be ashamed of. I am not commenting on your actions, because they are self evident. But to be ashamed one must have some shame in the first instance. Absent that, why pretend that you need to defend your actions? You do not. Carry on, sir.

Statutory warning: This humour column is not for the weak-kneed or the thin-skinned.