Ask Dr D: Things you require to become the next James Bond

Dear Dr D Correct me if I am wrong but the following things are required for a man to be the next James Bond:

- Reputation as a philanderer (check, including our babysitter)

- Have a lot of balls (check — in this case, footballs)

- Well-dressed and goodlooking (Check!)

- Be dashing (check, seeing how he runs from the media)

- Be comfortable in the international arena (check, he’s played in arenas globally)

- Be 007 (check, that’s actually his exact IQ)

- Do stuff in the‘national interest’(check, ask any Daily Mail reader)

- Have hot female by his side (check, me!)

- Call people by their initial alphabet: M, Q etc (check, he can’t remember names anyway)

- Say cool one liners (uncheck, but he can do retakes)

Now then, please tell me if there is any reason my Becks isn’t totally qualified to be the next 007. Thanks

Dear Victoria David misspelled your name on his arm tattoo. In Hindi, it says ‘Whiktoriya’. As Bond he would be a disaster. He would look great in a tux, but could he slip out of a party unnoticed? I doubt it. Would he even want to? Unlikely. He seems to be more comfortable having that next glass of champagne than being on her majesty’s secret service. He’s good arm candy for you, but could he save the world? No.

But I do have a name for a movie in case it does happen: Thunderballs