Apeing draws the line at marijuana

As the truck that had broken down in the jungle near the hill station of Chimiri in Chhattisgarh was fully loaded but abandoned was indication enough that some monkey business was probably afoot. The simians swarming all over that vehicle were, in effect, hyperbole. But at least they prompted the police to investigate the monkeys’ excessive interest in the truck’s contents. The simians should, in fact, be given a reward for helping law enforcement, for they smelled mangoes in the top layer of cartons and descended en masse on the truck for a feast. By the time they were sated, 800 kg of ganja hidden below lay exposed to the world — and the police. It’s clear that the smugglers had planned to make monkeys out of the police by hiding the contraband in an innocuous consignment of fruit.

Animals in the wilderness do get high on various types of wildflowers, mushrooms, tree bark, lichen and other psychotropic, intoxicating and sedating plant life. Luckily, though our simian cousins are known for aping humans — last week, a cheeky monkey in Bali photo-bombed a family selfie and showed its middle finger — their tastes have not yet extended to ganja or marijuana. Indeed, monkeys should feel downright insulted that synthetic cannabinoids laced with dangerous chemical compounds are called ‘monkey weed’ by street dealers in the US.