Ankur Warikoo spoke to his wife only 30 minutes a week for 2 years during long-distance relationship. His reason for not talking more is surprisingly relevant today

Relationships have changed dramatically with the rise of smartphones and instant communication. Staying connected is now easier than ever, but constant access does not always mean deeper connection. Ankur Warikoo recently reflected on a very different phase of his relationship with wife Ruchi, when distance and expensive phone calls limited their conversations. During their two-year long-distance relationship, the couple spoke for just 30 minutes once a week, a routine he believes helped make their relationship stronger.

Ankur Warikoo and Ruchi spoke just once a week

Taking to social media, Ankur Warikoo recalled his two-year long-distance relationship with his wife Ruchi. He said they spoke only once a week and believes that limitation was one of the reasons the relationship worked. The story goes back to 2002, when Warikoo was in the US and international calls were expensive. He could afford only a 30-minute call every week. Every Thursday, he would call Ruchi on her landline using a calling card. After 30 minutes, the call would disconnect.

There was no option to casually ask her to stay on the phone for another five minutes. The limited time meant they had to make every conversation count.

‘We cherished those 30 minutes’

Warikoo said the couple remained focused during those weekly conversations because they knew that was all the time they had. They had to be selective about what they shared, he explained, because time was their currency and their next opportunity to speak would not arrive until the following week. Rather than making the distance feel like an obstacle, the limited communication gave their conversations a sense of importance. Each call was something to look forward to, rather than another interaction squeezed into an already busy day.

Constant communication can hurt relationships?

Warikoo believes modern relationships face a different challenge. Technology has made it possible for partners to call, text and connect almost instantly, but he feels that couples can end up being constantly in each other’s space. He argued that one reason relationships have become harder is that two people can now remain perpetually connected. For Warikoo, having some distance is important even within a relationship. Before becoming a partner to someone else, he believes people need to learn to be a friend to themselves.

That requires giving yourself some space to process what you experience, rather than immediately sharing every thought or emotion with your partner.

What if couples had only 30 minutes a week?

Warikoo asked his followers to imagine a modern relationship in which partners could communicate for only 30 minutes every week. He wondered how differently people might behave if that were their only opportunity to speak to the person they loved. Would they still spend those precious minutes engaging in an unnecessary fight, he asked, or would they instead try to make the other person feel loved? The thought experiment highlights the difference between having unlimited access to someone and actually valuing the time spent with them.

‘Just because you can connect, do not’

Warikoo’s advice is not about cutting communication completely. Instead, he urged couples to be mindful of the privilege that technology provides. He suggested that people should not feel compelled to speak to their partners every second simply because they can. Similarly, being able to connect with someone on demand does not mean that every moment needs to be filled with conversation.

He encouraged couples to allow themselves some space to miss one another and to let their partners experience that feeling too.