American woman shares how her stay in India changed her life: ‘Nothing was mine anymore’

A clinical psychologist from the United States has described how her extended stay in India fundamentally altered her perception of existence, questioning many deeply rooted Western assumptions about authority, productivity, joy, and death. Lorwen C Nagle, who completed her doctoral training at Harvard University, shared reflections from her travels through a sequence of posts on X. She explained that relocating to India after earning her PhD unsettled the philosophical framework she had grown up with and ultimately reshaped her interpretation of life in lasting ways.

Confronting the Myth of Control

One of her earliest revelations occurred during a turbulent trip to Haridwar. Amid the disorder of boarding an overcrowded bus, she found herself separated from her possessions. That unsettling episode compelled her to face the fragility of ownership and the illusion that individuals command their surroundings. Stripped of certainty, she realized that clinging to control only intensified distress, whereas surrendering expectations created space for resilience. She later described this moment as a psychological pivot that permanently altered her outlook.

Rethinking Time and Happiness

Her journeys across the country, particularly the lengthy train rides, also shifted her understanding of time. In contrast to Western culture, where minutes are treated as currency to be spent or saved, she began to experience time as something immersive rather than transactional. What initially felt endless gradually transformed into an opportunity for presence.


Another defining memory involved encountering a young man with significant physical disabilities whose face radiated genuine delight. That image stayed with her for decades, reinforcing her conviction that fulfillment is not necessarily determined by external conditions but can arise from an inner state of being.

Spiritual Lessons from Everyday Encounters

While walking through Vishwanath Gali in Varanasi, she noticed residents tenderly caring for an ailing cow. The quiet devotion she observed encouraged reflection on suffering and faith, prompting her to consider that compassion can exist even amid hardship.

In Rishikesh, crossing Lakshman Jhula and stepping barefoot into the Ganges left a profound mark. She contrasted the contemplative atmosphere there with the fast-paced environments common in the United States, concluding that physical surroundings influence mental states and awareness.

Unity, Perspective and Mortality

During the Palkhi Festival in Maharashtra, surrounded by tens of thousands of pilgrims, dense greenery, and roaming monkeys, she sensed a dissolution of boundaries between humanity and nature. The experience challenged her belief in separateness and deepened her sense of interconnectedness.

A seemingly minor incident—locals examining an empty tuna can she had discarded—also expanded her understanding of cultural relativity, reminding her that perceptions of value and waste differ widely.

Her most profound shift occurred at Manikarnika Ghat, where open cremations unfolded nightly. Witnessing death without concealment transformed her relationship with mortality, leading her to regard life itself with heightened reverence and awareness.