Adynatons at risk? Not till pigs fly!

Pigs on flights? “Well, if wishes were horses…!” some would retort. After all, these porcine and equine fancies have been the mainstay of adynatons — phrases using hyperbole so farfetched that they are deemed impossible — for centuries. However, as pot bellied pigs’ further classification as emotional supports (in addition to their zoological tag of suidae) renders them eligible to fly about in commercial aircraft in the US since 2012, it may not be long before Shakespeare’s long-standing adynaton about beards growing on palms becomes a mere statement of fact. Indeed, the future of other adynatons hangs in the balance in this era of fast-paced development and enabling legislation. How long before hell freezes over or rivers run dry, some might ask, now that climate change is also a reality?

In fact, the zoological adynatons endangered by progress are alarmingly numerous, in this context. Once pigs take flight, it may not be long before they also climb the pear tree, fellow quadrupeds such as donkeys and cows fly too. Worse still, hens may sprout teeth, cats grow horns, owls’ tails bloom, frogs sport hair, crows fly upside down, crawfish whistle on mountains and fish climb poplar trees, thereby causing consternation in practically every language on the planet. Hopefully, though, not till calves dance on ice.