29-year-old wants to give his parents everything. But Ankur Warikoo points out that what they want is something else

For many young professionals living away from home, success comes with an unexpected weight: guilt. Guilt for earning, for growing, and for still not being able to change the quiet, frugal lives their parents continue to live. This emotional tug-of-war recently came into sharp focus when entrepreneur and author Ankur Warikoo shared a deeply personal reflection on X, sparked by an email that could belong to almost anyone navigating ambition, money, and family expectations.

Ankur Warikoo revealed that he received an honest and relatable email from a 29-year-old who has spent the last 11 years living away from home due to education and work. The writer explained that distance gives him clarity. While living alone, he dreams freely and imagines ways to improve his parents’ lives through small comforts and upgrades they never asked for but deserve. However, every visit home shatters that optimism.

Being back with his parents forces him to confront their reality. He sees how carefully they calculate every rupee, how even basic comforts are weighed and often postponed. Despite always supporting his choices and never holding him back, their lifestyle hurts him deeply. His goal, he admits, is not just personal growth but giving his parents the life they should have had all along.


That intention, however, meets resistance. Whenever he tries to act on his plans by buying something or upgrading their lifestyle, it leads to arguments. His parents worry about the future, warn him about uncertainty, and fear he may end up with nothing if he spends too freely. Even when he makes his decisions, guilt follows. He finds himself questioning the purpose of his earnings if they cannot improve his parents’ lives.


This emotional loop pushes him into a dangerous mental space. He begins to believe he is not earning enough, that only more money can fix his family’s problems, and that earning big is the only solution. Although he recognises this as an unhealthy mindset, it resurfaces every time he visits home and lingers until he leaves again. Slowly, home starts to feel like a place that pulls him down emotionally.

The writer admits he does not yet earn enough to spend without thinking, but what pains him most is seeing his parents stop living under constant financial pressure. He fears he is becoming just like them. At 29, he wants a content life, hopes to fulfil both his parents’ dreams and his own, and wants to live decently. His question to Ankur Warikoo is simple but heavy: is this conflict normal?

Ankur Warikoo on his growing-up days

Warikoo shared that the email took him straight back to his own younger days. He reflected on growing up with very little money and how that shaped his relationship with it. For him, money once symbolised misery. It explained why his family had to move houses frequently, why his father stayed away on tours, why they owned a scooter when others drove cars, and why a single packet of instant noodles shared among four people felt like a monthly celebration.

As a result, he grew up hating money and promising himself that once he earned, he would give his parents every comfort life had denied them. He wanted to buy them the car, the house, the vacations, and every luxury imaginable. But when he tried, his parents resisted strongly. They argued, fought, and refused to accept what he offered. Even small purchases had to be disguised as heavily discounted deals to gain their approval.

Ankur Warikoo's reply

It took him time to understand what was really happening. In his reply to the email, Warikoo explained that this conflict is completely normal. At this age, the fragility of parents’ lives, the chaos of one’s own journey, and the intense desire to give back collide, creating emotional havoc. He shared that he had felt the same and resonated deeply with the struggle.

Speaking from the perspective of someone now in his mid-forties, Warikoo explained that the biggest thing parents truly want is not money but time and attention. They are aware they are ageing and coming to terms with their eventual passing. What they seek is reassurance that their sacrifices were worth it and that their child’s life is secure and meaningful.


For many parents, spending money on themselves feels wasteful because they see themselves as a diminishing entity. They would rather see resources invested in a growing asset, their child. Warikoo shared that only when his parents saw him comfortable, confident, and secure did their resistance soften. In his case, they began accepting his financial support only after he turned 40.

Today, he supports their lifestyle, buys them things, and takes them on vacations, and they enjoy it wholeheartedly. In their seventies, he sees them behaving like children again, not just because of financial comfort, but because they have his time and attention. His message was clear and reassuring: giving parents time, presence, and emotional assurance is not failure. It is often the only thing they truly crave.